Once again, deadlines have driven me to create something new. Plus, it’s hard to resist writing a story for Susanna Hill’s 10th Annual Holiday Contest.
The rules:
- 250 or fewer words, not including the title
- Holiday helpers or helping must be a major theme, not just incidental to the main story
- Must be targeted toward kids, ages 12 and under
- No illustrations allowed
- Must be posted before midnight EST on Wednesday, Dec. 9
So here’s my 248-word entry….
Promises Are For…
by Jilanne Hoffmann
It was two weeks before Christmas,
and Ranger and I were ready.
Dad had promised
to take us to see Santa,
Christmas lights, and his new house.
After breakfast,
we waited.
Ma graded papers.
We played mazes and tunnels,
waiting.
“Cammy and Ranger, please clean up,” Ma said.
We will, we promised.
But Ma’s phone rang,
and we forgot.
It wasn’t Dad.
We played castles and catapults,
waiting.
Ma graded more papers.
“Please clean up,” she said.
We will, we promised.
But then we heard a car in the driveway,
and we forgot.
It wasn’t Dad.
After dinner, Ma said,
“Our own lights will cheer us up!”
She found the box of decorations,
and sat down with them on the floor.
“I’m sorry your dad didn’t keep his promise.”
“He forgets things,” I said.
“Maybe tomorrow, Ma?” said Ranger.
We sandwiched her in a hug.
“We’ll see.”
When Ma opened the box,
her whole body
slumped.
“Another tangled mess,” she said, “I need to lie down.”
The bedroom door clicked shut behind her.
“Is Ma okay?” Ranger whispered.
I looked around the room,
and saw what we had forgotten.
So I set Ranger to untangling the lights,
while I picked up our mazes and tunnels.
We built the tree, together,
then picked up our castles, catapults, and ammo.
Finally, we swirled the tree with lights.
As I placed the star on top,
I heard a gasp.
The look on Ma’s face
said everything.
We had kept our promise.
Jilanne Hoffmann 
What a sweet story!
Thank you!
This is beautiful, Jilanne. I’m so glad that the children kept their promises, even if dad didn’t. Happy holidays!
Thanks, Patricia! Happy holidays to you, too!
This sounds like a situation that could actually happen. Good job letting the story unfold. And good luck!
Thank you! I was thinking about how kids deal with imperfect parents when I wrote this. It’s often not fair, and sometimes they create the grace needed to give parents another chance.
Such a sweet and thoughtful holiday story — little helpers keeping a promise and doing something important for Mom.
Thanks, Patricia! I was thinking about all those parents stretched beyond capacity during the pandemic. It’s been beyond challenging for so many.
I hope Santa puts Dad on the naughty list and gives Ma an extra big box of chocs…
That was my thinking. A good five pounds of chocolates.
Lovely story, and a lesson that even adults need to be reminded of sometimes. The big question is that how do those lights get tangled when they go in the box neatly and are untouched for most of the year?
That is a mystery solvable only by theoretical physicists.
This story is so sad and sweet. I loved the ending image. I enjoyed reading your story, Jilanne.
Thank you, Sarah. Kids can often surprise us with their perceptive thoughtfulness.
You really built up the tension until a sweet ending. 😊
Thanks, Ashley! I hope the dad ends up following through on his promise, too.
Oh, I loved your story! Such a beautiful ending, Jilanne. Good luck! Rosanna
Thank you!!!
Even though I could feel the bit of sadness from the characters in the middle you still wove hope throughout the whole thing. It was such a nice ending.
Thanks, Katie, for your kind words! I’m glad the hope shone through.
Lovely story! Promises kept. Happy holidays to you and your family.
Thank you, Stacy! Happy holidays to you and yours, too!!
You captured the struggle of “real life” beautifully, Jilanne. Very sweet.
Thank you, Shannon! Yes. None of us are perfect, and children offer us so many moments of grace.