And now it’s time for Susanna Hill’s Valentiny contest! The rules this year: write a Valentines story appropriate for children (children here defined as ages 12 and under) maximum 214 words in which someone feels guilty!
My entry is 210 words.
Only the Best for You, Mom!
By Jilanne Hoffmann
Mom, why are you giving me the stink eye? One of your eyebrows is crawling up your forehead.
Me? I didn’t do anything. What?
What’s on my lip?
mustache. Well, actually it’s glue from my Halloween mustache.
Why is it brown?
Um—because it’s so old. Halloween was a long time ago.
No, I don’t smell anything, unless you’re talking about Cheeto.
You smell chocolate?
That’s cause Cheeto’s a chocolate lab.
What? You want to see my hands? Both of them?
At the same time?
But—it’s Valentine’s Day, and I’ve got something to give you.
I’m not finished fixing it yet.
Valentine’s Day is almost over?
How can it be time for bed already?
Why do you want to smell my breath?
It will just smell like Cheeto’s chocolate fart.
Well, when you put it that way—
Why is my tongue brown?
Maybe from licking my mustache?
OK, I give up. These are for you.
I’m sorry they’re—
I’m not crying. I was going to fix them, because I had to squeeze so many to find my favorite. I wanted to make sure they were good.
I love you, too!
Um, are you going to share?