Only the Best for You, Mom! – Valentiny Contest

And now it’s time for Susanna Hill’s Valentiny contest! The rules this year: write a Valentines story appropriate for children (children here defined as ages 12 and under) maximum 214 words in which someone feels guilty!

My entry is 210 words.


Only the Best for You, Mom!

By Jilanne Hoffmann


Mom, why are you giving me the stink eye? One of your eyebrows is crawling up your forehead.

Me? I didn’t do anything. What?

What’s on my lip?

That’s a—

mustache. Well, actually it’s glue from my Halloween mustache.

Why is it brown?

Um—because it’s so old. Halloween was a long time ago.

What smell?

No, I don’t smell anything, unless you’re talking about Cheeto.

Cheeto farted.

You smell chocolate?

That’s cause Cheeto’s a chocolate lab.

What? You want to see my hands? Both of them?

At the same time?

But—it’s Valentine’s Day, and I’ve got something to give you.


I’m not finished fixing it yet.

Valentine’s Day is almost over?

How can it be time for bed already?

Why do you want to smell my breath?

It will just smell like Cheeto’s chocolate fart.

Well, when you put it that way—


Why is my tongue brown?

Maybe from licking my mustache?


OK, I give up. These are for you.

I’m sorry they’re—


I’m not crying. I was going to fix them, because I had to squeeze so many to find my favorite. I wanted to make sure they were good.

They are?

I love you, too!

Um, are you going to share?


Not guilty, your honor….

Cheeto wishes you a Happy Valentine’s Day!




33 thoughts on “Only the Best for You, Mom! – Valentiny Contest

  1. Colleen Owen Murphy says:

    Oh my! I can definitely picture this sequence of events. And I love the sense of humor you’ve woven throughout. Best of luck in the contest!

  2. Sarah Tobias says:

    You know it really is the candy company’s fault. If they only put good fillings in our chocolates, we wouldn’t have to open them up.

    Cute story. Cheeto farts smell like chocolate cause he’s a chocolate lab is awesome, or should I say pawsome.

    From one guilty tester to another.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann says:

      If I were submitting this story (and not following the rules of the contest), I’d most likely orient the reader by including an opening art note that says these lines are all spoken by one character in response to an unheard statement from the mom. This would clear up any initial confusion caused by the unusual format.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann says:

      It goes back and forth in our household. I can often smell sweets like gummi bears much more easily than chocolate, but my son can sniff out chocolate in a room where it was eaten a few hours earlier, LOL. Notice how I used the non-attributable passive tense “where it was eaten.” Not pointing any fingers at the culprit.

  3. Susanna Leonard Hill says:

    You obviously know how hard it is not to eat chocolates even when you intend to give them to someone else, Jilanne 🙂 I could picture your MC on the witness stand being questioned and squirming his way through the answers – the picture of guilt 🙂 I’m sure mom did share…also sure he’d already had his share 🙂 Thanks for joining in the Valentiny fun!

  4. chardixon47 says:

    Fun story, Jilanne 🙂 Ohhh, that my pups’ farts smelled like chocolate-LOL I’ve also encountered the box of chocolates with a bite taken from all of them-no mercy shown when it comes to chocolate candies!

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