Dental Hygiene Halloween – Halloweensie Story Contest

26 Oct

I stopped packing boxes long enough to write this teensy-weensy story for Susanna Leonard Hills’ Halloweensie story contest. Here are the rules:

Write a 100 word Halloween story appropriate for children (title not included in the 100 words), using the words costumedark, and haunt.   Your story can be scary, funny or anything in between, poetry or prose, but it will only count for the contest if it includes those 3 words and is 100 words (you can go under, but not over!) Also, you may use the words in any form – e.g. haunt, haunts, haunted, darkness, darkening, costumed, whathaveyou 🙂  No illustration notes please!

Soooooooo here’s my entry:


Dental Hygiene Halloween

by Jilanne Hoffmann


Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy trick or treated in their usual costumes.

At one dark house, Santa’s knock went unanswered, so he dropped a present down the chimney.




“That’s not how it works,” Easter Bunny scoffed.

At the next house, Easter Bunny rang the doorbell and hopped away, leaving an egg on the doorstep.




“That’s not how it works,” Tooth Fairy fussed.

At the next house, Tooth Fairy rang the bell—and waited.



The door opened.

“I’m a dentist in disguise!” Tooth Fairy exclaimed. She scooped up the candy, replaced it with coins, and skedaddled.

Haunting, isn’t it?




Now back to packing…..

92 Responses to “Dental Hygiene Halloween – Halloweensie Story Contest”

  1. Carrie Rubin October 26, 2015 at 1:11 pm #

    Ha! Anything with the word ‘dentist’ is a horror novel to me. 😉

    Fun story!

  2. julie rowan zoch October 26, 2015 at 1:34 pm #

    Hehe! How nice would that be if the tooth fairy came and left me some coins! Unfortunately, this reminds me to make an appointment!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 26, 2015 at 1:54 pm #

      I’m not sure this story is having the effect I envisioned. Ha!

      • liamh2003 October 26, 2015 at 3:10 pm #

        hi mom

        • Jilanne Hoffmann October 26, 2015 at 3:25 pm #

          Hi Liam. Did you like the story, or is the idea of losing all your candy just too horrifying?

        • liamh2003 October 29, 2015 at 8:58 pm #


        • liamh2003 October 29, 2015 at 8:58 pm #

          much horror-ific

  3. gabisnyder October 26, 2015 at 1:41 pm #

    Funny, funny twist at the end! Great Halloweensie entry, Jilanne.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 26, 2015 at 1:56 pm #

      Thanks! I’m afraid I’m giving shivers to those with dental PTSD. 😀

  4. Letizia October 26, 2015 at 1:55 pm #

    haha, what a fun story! Have a happy Halloween and good luck with all the moving boxes!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 26, 2015 at 1:59 pm #

      Thanks! My pile of book boxes is quite scary—and I’ve only finished one set of shelves. I’ve got two more to go….oh, and not to forget the ones scattered around the house.

      • Letizia October 26, 2015 at 2:08 pm #

        But it must be interesting to reconnect with your books in this way. Finding books you had forgotten about or hadn’t looked at in some time. Like reconnecting with old friends.

        • Jilanne Hoffmann October 26, 2015 at 2:26 pm #

          Yes, and I’m noticing that sometimes I bought a book in hardcover, only to forget and buy it again in paperback. 😀

        • Letizia October 26, 2015 at 2:48 pm #

          Ha, that’s funny!

  5. viviankirkfield October 26, 2015 at 5:02 pm #

    Well, I’d rather have the candy, Jilanne…that’s probably why I had so many cavities when I was a kid. 🙂 Very cute story…good luck with the packing…that’s more horrifying than the scariest Halloween haunted house. 🙂

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 26, 2015 at 5:08 pm #

      Yes, my son finds this story horrifying. 😀 And the packing…well, we haven’t moved since 1997, and the feeling can only be described by Munch’s “SCREAM”

  6. FictionFan October 26, 2015 at 5:12 pm #

    Haha! A horrifying tale. My teeth are quivering in terror!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 26, 2015 at 5:15 pm #

      Better watch out. Tooth Fairy is following you with dental floss…..

  7. shellbond83 October 26, 2015 at 5:48 pm #

    Nice work! Good luck! : )

  8. ptnozell October 26, 2015 at 6:44 pm #

    Great to see characters from other holidays, and life-events, cameo on Halloween. Brings back wonderful memories of my eldest daughter in Santa costume many moons (and houses) ago.

    Good luck with the move. I’ve lost count of the bookshelves I’ve emptied & refilled since 1997 – always enjoy unpacking the books. Hope you enjoy the experience, too.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 26, 2015 at 8:20 pm #

      Thanks! It’s amazing how many books I’m “rediscovering.”

  9. jdewdropsofink October 26, 2015 at 6:47 pm #

    Really cute. I’ll take the coins!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 26, 2015 at 8:20 pm #

      My son’s dentist and orthodontist both pay by the pound, but my son’s not convinced. He’d rather have the candy. 😀

  10. Stacy S. Jensen October 26, 2015 at 8:24 pm #

    I was so frightened. I pulled out the emergency “NERDS” in my desk drawer. Now I need to brush my teeth! Good luck with the packing. Glad you took a break to write. Packing and moving is always … well, interesting. 🙂

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 26, 2015 at 8:30 pm #

      And don’t forget to floss. The dental police are lurking.

      Yes, It’s almost more interesting than I can stand. 😀

  11. Al The Author October 27, 2015 at 1:16 am #

    This was fun! Still smiling as I type 🙂

  12. Marla October 27, 2015 at 4:59 am #

    Great story, never considered Santa, the Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy on Halloween before.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 27, 2015 at 9:30 am #

      Too bad our family has already made our costumes for this Halloween. Otherwise, I might be tempted to go as the tooth fairy. 😀

  13. Lady Fancifull October 27, 2015 at 6:25 am #

    I’m not sure whether I’m more shivering with horror at the d word, or at the thought of the boxes and the moving and nearly 20 years of ‘stuff’ It will no doubt take another 20 years to recover from it all, so you will need lots of helpful chocolate, and should therefore investigate local ds quite quickly.

    Now, hasn’t that turned the terror you evoked in your kindly readers back on to you, madam!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 27, 2015 at 9:36 am #

      Maybe I should brush after each box is filled, although that might wear down my enamel and gums. Perhaps a chocolate-y mouthwash would suffice? Better yet, chocolate martinis, hot chocolate with rum….

  14. cherylsec October 27, 2015 at 6:39 am #

    HaHa! Coins or candy? Hmmm. 🙂 A very cute story! Well done, Jilanne! Best wishes with the packing. We’ll be moving soon. I empathize! Happy Halloweensie!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 27, 2015 at 9:38 am #

      Thanks! You have my deepest sympathies on the move. So many details—things to do…in addition to work and other deadlines…

  15. marlainagray October 27, 2015 at 7:01 am #

    LOL nicely done! Tell Tooth Fairy I’ll trade Smarties for coins. But not chocolate.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 27, 2015 at 9:38 am #

      Thanks! I think this tooth fairy is one of those all-or-nuthin’ types. You’ll have to hide the chocolate. 😀

  16. heylookawriterfellow October 27, 2015 at 9:51 am #

    Now why don’t those three trick or treat at my house?

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 27, 2015 at 9:53 am #

      Just like your—ah, fictional mama. You want to spoil the entire event. Or maybe you’ve got your own trick planned for the wee tooth fairy?

  17. JEN Garrett October 27, 2015 at 10:48 am #

    Laugh out loud fun! Great entry. *Goes and peeks at my own; wonders how it will measure up.*

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 27, 2015 at 10:56 am #

      Thanks, Jen! I’ve read many, including yours, that I think are far better than mine. Cheers!

  18. Traci Bold October 27, 2015 at 11:20 am #

    Love your originality in this story. Great arc and story line. Well Jilanne!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 30, 2015 at 12:47 pm #

      Thanks, Traci! It’s strange, but I have a nagging feeling that these three have been featured in a picture book somewhere before. But it’s just that, a feeling. Happy Halloween!

  19. Mrs. P October 27, 2015 at 5:22 pm #

    Oh, I just had to read this post! The last two weeks have been dental hygiene hell for me. After going to one that injured me, I was trying out a new one….and boy was I scared! Turns out I must have had the tooth fairy, because she totally took care of me and I didn’t even cry. 😀

    So your story makes me wonder why did dentists give lollipops to kids if they were good?…at least that’s what they did when I was little. Nowadays all you get is tooth brushes and dental floss. Harumpf!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 27, 2015 at 7:15 pm #

      I’m sorry to hear about your dental nightmare. That can be much more gruesome than any Halloween creepiness. My dentist didn’t give me candy, but I was allowed to look through the “treasure chest” to find a trinket to take home. And if I had a cavity filled, my mom would let me get ice cream on the way home. My dentist didn’t use any form of numbing, so I had to sit through the pain of my teeth being drilled. Still gives me shivers.I think your dentist must have been trying to increase business if he/she gave you candy to take home. 😀

      • Mrs. P October 28, 2015 at 9:32 am #

        Oh you poor thing, no numbing… I can’t imagine!

        • Jilanne Hoffmann October 28, 2015 at 9:36 am #

          My mother told me that it “builds character.” Hmmmm. Not sure about that.

        • Mrs. P October 28, 2015 at 5:23 pm #

          Well…you really are quit a character, though probably not the meaning she intended. 😀 😀

        • Jilanne Hoffmann October 28, 2015 at 5:46 pm #

          LOL 😀

  20. clarbojahn October 28, 2015 at 9:54 am #

    Your story was j ust as fun as the comments which were all read by me. Some were really entertaining like learning you did not get any numbing. My childhood dentist did not know her job just drilling and drilling till she got most of the tooth not worried about the just cavity. Now all my teeth have crowns or caps because of it. she did not leave any tooth left. She was a new immigrant from Russia. I think my mother felt some commararderie with her. i could not understand her.

    Then we went to mc Donalds for a milk shake. Like the one above hurting all over again. On freshly drilled teeth. ouch!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 28, 2015 at 10:08 am #

      Oh, Clara, isn’t it amazing that your teeth survived at all?

      And doubling amazing that children survive their parents and parental misjudgments. 😀 Thanks for stopping by!

  21. tchistorygal October 28, 2015 at 10:37 am #

    Too cute! It made me smile. 🙂

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 28, 2015 at 11:04 am #

      I hope a nice, toothy grin!

      • tchistorygal October 28, 2015 at 11:14 am #

        You bet, I just got my invisaline braces off. 🙂

        • Jilanne Hoffmann October 28, 2015 at 11:22 am #

          How did you like those? My son’s orthodontist is recommending them. Is there a downside to using them, particularly for a 12-year-old?

        • tchistorygal October 28, 2015 at 11:58 am #

          The downside is that you have to wear them or your teeth don’t move. Sometimes you forget to put them in after you eat. Kids are particularly vulnerable because you have to wear them 22 hours a day. 🙂 I didn’t quite get that many in, but I did wear them most of the time. You also have to be meticulous about cleaning your teeth and the appliances. Other than that there are no downsides that I can tell. 🙂

        • Jilanne Hoffmann October 28, 2015 at 12:39 pm #

          Thanks for the info!

        • tchistorygal October 28, 2015 at 9:17 pm #

          No problem. 🙂

  22. ThisKidReviewsBooks October 28, 2015 at 10:37 am #

    Great story! I have luckily had great dentists so far. Even adult peoples’ dentists. 🙂 I still cringed while I read your story, so you did a phenomenal job. 😀

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 28, 2015 at 11:05 am #

      Thanks, Erik! Now tell me, would you give up your candy for coins? How many coins would it take? 😀

      • ThisKidReviewsBooks October 28, 2015 at 11:11 am #

        Ooo… I would give up candy for coins, but I would act like I wouldn’t so I’d get more. 😉

  23. Christie Allred October 29, 2015 at 11:12 am #

    Hey, the tooth fairy can take my candy, too! I like her trade. Good job, and good luck 🙂

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 29, 2015 at 11:35 am #

      Thanks, Christie! I’m glad you are convinced. My son is still holding out. 😀

  24. Joanna October 29, 2015 at 3:38 pm #

    Haha, a Horror Halloween. Very cool twist!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 29, 2015 at 3:40 pm #

      Yes, definitely my son’s worst nightmare. He already told me that eating all of your Halloween candy at once is better for you than spreading it out over a long time. Hmmmm. Wonder what studies he’s planning on citing?

  25. Sheila October 29, 2015 at 5:20 pm #

    I love how you combined different holidays and sent them all out trick or treating! It makes me wonder why the holidays aren’t combined more often. Good luck with the packing. I hope you and your son will have a fun Halloween with lots of candy!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 29, 2015 at 5:54 pm #

      Thanks, Sheila! My son is already planning on what he’s going to do with all of the candy he’s going to get. 😀

  26. Susanna Leonard Hill October 29, 2015 at 7:36 pm #

    How clever of the Tooth Fairy to disguise herself as a dentist… and get all the candy! And love how Santa and the Easter Bunny totally misunderstood Halloween 🙂 Thanks so much for joining in the Halloweensie fun – I’m glad you were able to take a few minutes out from packing!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 29, 2015 at 7:46 pm #

      Thanks, Susanna. Writing this weensie story was a welcome break!

  27. Cathy Ballou Mealey October 30, 2015 at 12:45 pm #

    Love the mash-up of mythical (right?) icons. Happy Halloweensie!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 30, 2015 at 12:47 pm #

      Thanks, Cathy! What do you mean? Santa, Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy aren’t REAL?!!! I am soooo disallusioned. I may need to eat large quantities of chocolate this weekend (starting now) to get over the disappointment.

      • Cathy Ballou Mealey October 30, 2015 at 1:31 pm #

        Great solution! I must be chocolate deprived because I really do believe in Santa, Bunny and TFairy. I mean – gifts, candy and money? Trifecta

  28. Britt Skrabanek October 31, 2015 at 10:12 am #

    That’s adorable! Glad you dropped packing to share that with us. 😉

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 31, 2015 at 10:17 am #

      Thanks, Britt! Had to take a break. I was getting tape gun wrist and blisters on my thumbs. Guess my packing muscles are pretty out-of-shape. 😀

  29. Charlotte Dixon November 1, 2015 at 9:13 am #

    Coins for the piggy bank-love it 🙂 Nice twist-good luck!

  30. Catherine Johnson November 2, 2015 at 3:07 am #

    That is fantastic, Jilanne! How original and the perfect pics to match.

  31. Kate Johnston November 3, 2015 at 5:29 am #

    Wonderful job! I bet you had a lot of fun writing it — a perfect excuse to sneak away from packing.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann November 3, 2015 at 10:13 am #

      It WAS just the right excuse! Things are piling up around here, literally. And I’m having difficulty maintaining any form of concentration. I jump from priority to priority to priority, often without completing a task before jumping. Crazy. Looking forward to collapsing sometime around the beginning of December.

  32. Laurel Leigh November 6, 2015 at 9:47 am #

    Wait, are you saying there is no tooth fairy, or there is one? I know Santa is real, but I’ve always been suspicious of that Tinkerbelle lookalike.

    Love your story!!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann November 6, 2015 at 9:53 am #

      Thank, Laurel! Whenever asked, my mother would always say “we are all Santa Claus/the tooth fairy/the Easter bunny.” I could never pin her down to admit anything. So I’m sticking with my mom’s approach. There must be a gray area there, somewhere….. The “tinkerbell” in my story looks a bit androgynous, don’t you think? And maybe a little scary. Perhaps my tooth fairy has escaped from a Brothers Grimm tale.

      • Laurel Leigh November 6, 2015 at 11:34 am #

        Yes, I absolutely think your tooth fairy is a Brothers Grimm escapee. That explains a lot, lol.

  33. Mrs. P December 9, 2015 at 7:25 pm #

    Ha! sound like a friend of mine!

    Hope the packing/moving is going to your satisfaction…and maybe there will be a first Christmas in a new house? 😀

    • Jilanne Hoffmann December 10, 2015 at 11:34 am #

      Oh yes! We are now in and unpacking. Will it ever end?! I’m trying to get back into my blogging community, but it’s slow going. I’m relieved that we bought a house that wasn’t a fixer-upper, because we’re fixing/changing so many things already. 😀 Can’t wait to string some lights, pour a cup of spicy eggnog, sit by the gas fireplace, and listen to the rain fall on the parched earth of California!

      • Mrs. P December 10, 2015 at 3:40 pm #

        Has it been raining? I’ve been doin’ this rain dance so long, I think my feet turned to rubber.

        • Jilanne Hoffmann December 10, 2015 at 4:01 pm #

          As I type this, it’s raining!!! A sudden gullywasher, as they say. Yay! And it rained over the weekend. And it’s supposed to rain again this coming weekend. Double yay! Keep it coming!!

        • Mrs. P December 10, 2015 at 4:50 pm #

          Small doses is just perfect, let the soil get used to it’s thirst being quenched. Intermittent rain dance begins anew! 😀

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