Halloween Cinderella?

30 Oct

Susanna Leonard Hill’s Halloweensie 100-word story writing competition (using the words pumpkin, broomstick, and creak) inspired me to produce the following piece of classic literature this week. It also inspired my son to create an illustration for the story. I hope you enjoy it. And if you don’t, well, I’ll sick the flying monkeys on you. Cheers!


Halloween Cinderella?


One Halloween night, Witch searched her cottage for her broomstick.

“I’ll turn into a pumpkin if I don’t ride before midnight!” she cried.

The potion-packed pantry contained no broomstick.

 Clock chimed eleven.

 Witch searched closets, finding only skeletons.

 Five minutes till midnight! Beetle boogers!

 She tugged the attic door.


 “I’m NOT coming out,” declared Broom.

 “I hear brooms burn!” threatened Witch.

 “Dare you!”

 She threw a ball of bats at Broom.

 Broom ducked.

 Witch struck a match, cackling “Fire!”

 Clock chimed midnight.

 Lightning zizzled! Flames flared, blazed and baked!

 “I smell cinnamon,” sniffed Broom. “Yum! Witch pumpkin pie.”





And just in case you haven’t had enough of pumpkins, several hundred showed up at the Hoes Down Harvest Festival in early October…

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42 Responses to “Halloween Cinderella?”

  1. Stacy S. Jensen October 30, 2014 at 9:37 am #

    Broom … saved by the clock and what a fun surprise to get a pumpkin pie! Great story. Yummy. Love the pumpkin photos too!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 30, 2014 at 9:55 am #

      Thanks, Stacy! I’ve got to run around now and read all of the other entries.

      Those real pumpkins were magical. I couldn’t quite capture how well hundreds of pumpkins transformed the lane on Full Belly Farm. As they say, “you just had to be there.” But I tried. 😀

  2. Lady Fancifull October 30, 2014 at 9:51 am #

    Well I’m utterly relieved there will be no sick flying monkeys headed this way as i thoroughly enjoyed story, artwork and photos.

    I don’t suppose a high 5 for all 3 wins me some flying chocolate does it ? though please, soft-centred only as enrobed hazelnuts dropping from a great height can’t half raise big bumps on the noggin as they strike. I shall wear a dinky little upturned bowl on my head in the hope that deliciious soft centred truffles are perfectly landing within.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 30, 2014 at 9:59 am #

      Thanks, LF!

      When my son reads your comment, he’ll most likely suggest we send chocolates via Amazon’s quad copter delivery service (still in beta testing, I hear). I suggest wearing a construction helmet in case the copter crashes on delivery.

      • Lady Fancifull October 30, 2014 at 11:02 am #

        Have just ordered a construction helmet in readiness, but it might take a while to arrive, as I felt in honour of Halloween it should be pointy and witch shaped, which creates a little bit of a challenge in terms of the dinky bowl to catch the soft centre chocolates so I’ve had to put it out to a team of designers. At the moment all they could offer, as in fact my ‘dinky bowl’ was quite large as i was hoping for quite a lot of chocolates is a very large pointy helmet indeed, so the ‘point’ itself was recessed into forming a bowl. But it might be quite uncomfortable to wear.
        Do you know how long it will take developers to produce a 3D soft centred chocolates printer. Tthis might be a better option, and I’ll sign up to be a beta tester

        • Jilanne Hoffmann November 1, 2014 at 10:49 am #

          My son is working on one right now. Stay tuned….

  3. Cathy Ballou Mealey October 30, 2014 at 10:23 am #

    Fun! Made me think of those cinnamon brooms that they sell to decorate and scent your home. Mmmm…

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 30, 2014 at 10:31 am #

      I haven’t seen those. They sound like just the perfect fall decor. OR Perhaps I need some tiny ones to put inside my son’s sneakers when he’s not wearing them. 😀

      Thanks for stopping by, Cathy!

  4. Susanna Leonard Hill October 30, 2014 at 10:44 am #

    What a wonderful, fun, kid-friendly story, Jilanne! I love the humor! And the wheedling and cajoling and threatening… hmm… when have I had to use those tactics?! 🙂 Great ending, letting broom be saved by the bell and coming out for witch pumpkin pie! Love the drawing too – very accomplished! 🙂 Thanks so much for joining in the Halloweensie fun!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 30, 2014 at 12:31 pm #

      Thanks, Susanna! Yes, in Cinderella, the clock temporarily causes problems while it is, ah, a permanent last straw for Witch. Broom, saved by the bell, gets to keep his straw and munch on pie. And like Cinderella, things turn out well for Broom by being slightly rebellious and waiting for the evil doers to get their comeuppance.

  5. FictionFan October 30, 2014 at 11:11 am #

    I want a potion-packed pantry! On the other hand, I do not want beetle boogers. *shakes head emphatically*

    Haha! Great story and a perfect illustration. Happy Hallowe’en!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 30, 2014 at 11:40 am #


      What about a chocolate-packed pantry? Or perhaps one that’s Scotch and chocolate-packed?

      I’ll tell my son you liked his illustration. He enjoyed making it. Cheers!

      • FictionFan October 30, 2014 at 6:16 pm #

        I already have a chocolate-packed one! 😉

  6. julie rowan zoch October 30, 2014 at 11:17 am #

    Haha! Many great phrases, like ‘potion-packed pantry’ and ‘beetle boogers’!

  7. jdewdropsofink October 30, 2014 at 12:35 pm #

    I love pumpkin pie, but hold the witch please. 🙂 Fun story.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 30, 2014 at 12:39 pm #

      Pumpkin pie without the witch is available on my menu. Not on yours?

      Thanks for stopping by for a bite! 😀

  8. Vanessa-Jane Chapman October 30, 2014 at 1:06 pm #

    Fun story, I like it very much! This reminds me though, I haven’t got any pumpkins this year!!! I’ve done halloween baking, and I’ve helped the kids sort halloween costumes for parties they are both going to tomorrow, but no pumpkins! I did see an alternative version of using oranges instead of pumpkins, cutting the top off, pulling out the insides, and cutting them in the same way, and using a tea light inside, very cute, I might do that instead!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 30, 2014 at 1:39 pm #

      Interesting. I’ve never tried that. Take a photo and post it, so we can admire your handiwork. 😀 Right now, I’m painting an emoticon head and sewing arms for an octopus—while I’m supposed to be working.

  9. cvarsalona October 30, 2014 at 3:28 pm #

    Too bad, witch. Gone at the stroke of midnight. Wondering why your smell was a cinnamon divine one.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 30, 2014 at 3:35 pm #

      The answer? Fire is a transformative element, turning evil into the divine. I’m thinking she smelled pretty bad before turning into pie. 😀

      Thanks for stopping by!

  10. Mrs. P October 30, 2014 at 6:24 pm #

    Bats! That means Fantastic in witchery. But you’d know that since you’re obviously a witch. You must be…for you know far too much about what is inside a witch’s cupboard. And that horrible broom…refusing to come out and turned that poor witch in to pie. Pie…pumpkin pie…I cannot lie…I love pumpkin pie…shhh, don’t tell.

    Awesome illustration.!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann November 1, 2014 at 10:54 am #

      Ah, yes, I’m a witch! Well, last night I was really a Joe Cool emoticon. Some people thought I was a Ray Charles emoticon, though, as we were trick or treating. So much for my witch-i-ness.

      Now wipe that bit of pumpkin off your chin before the witch’s evil step-sister shows up and turns you and broom into toads. And I’ll let my son know you liked his work.

  11. Joanna October 30, 2014 at 6:33 pm #

    Love the potion-packed pantry!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 31, 2014 at 9:32 am #

      Thanks, Joanna! My pantry is packed with chocolate, similar to Susanna’s. 😀

  12. Sylvia Liu October 31, 2014 at 4:35 am #

    Beetle boogers is my favorite line. How awesome is that! Fun story.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 31, 2014 at 9:34 am #

      You can just imagine what those boogers would look like, right? 😀 Thanks, Sylvia, for stopping by!

  13. Penny Parker Klostermann October 31, 2014 at 5:49 am #

    Beetle boogers! Ha! That’s my favorite line!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 31, 2014 at 9:36 am #

      An illustrator could really make those beetle boogers shine, don’t you think? Maybe I should ask my son to draw a pile of them. I’m sure he’d love that. 😀

  14. Christie Allred October 31, 2014 at 7:43 am #

    Beetle boogers is a great phrase. Good luck in the contest. 🙂

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 31, 2014 at 9:37 am #

      Thanks, Christie! Good luck to everyone who’s entered the contest! Susanna’s got a bumper crop of stories to sort through. Thanks for stopping by!

  15. Lauri Meyers October 31, 2014 at 6:08 pm #

    Beetle boogers, that was great Jilanne!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann October 31, 2014 at 6:17 pm #

      Thanks, Lauri! I must ask my son what he thinks beetle boogers look like. I’m sure he’ll be happy to give me his opinion. 😀

      Thanks for stopping by!

  16. heylookawriterfellow October 31, 2014 at 7:40 pm #

    A story where a broom wins the day! The OCD in me thanks you.

    And “zizzled” is gonna be my new word.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann November 1, 2014 at 10:57 am #

      Hey, if things can razzle and dazzle, why not zizzle?

      And how about that obstreperous broom? You think he’s gonna listen when you ask him to sweep up all the Halloween detritus?

  17. Letizia November 1, 2014 at 1:46 pm #

    Great story (the phrase “beetle boogers” is forever burned in my memory). I love your son’s drawing too – especially how he was able to make the broom so expressive. Hope you had a fun Halloween!

  18. Call of the Siren November 3, 2014 at 9:29 am #

    Far better than I could ever do. Man, great job!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann November 3, 2014 at 10:04 am #

      Thanks, Nick! I’ll let my son know that you like his work! Happy two days after Dia de los Muertos!

  19. Kate Johnston November 5, 2014 at 4:26 am #

    Such a neat little twist to a cute story. I love your son’s artwork, too! You guys should go into the biz together. 🙂

    • Jilanne Hoffmann November 5, 2014 at 1:36 pm #

      Thanks, Kate! I’ll let him know you like his work. You should check out the finalists at Susanna’s blog.

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