I’ve written about my son, the reluctant writer, in a few other posts: Writing as Calculus, Open Mic Fright, Celebrate Illustrators!
And now that he’s in 4th grade, the pressure is on to produce even more. So when he came home with an assignment to write a newspaper article, using the “Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How” structure, he was fit to be tied.
This is an idiom from my Midwestern childhood. I have not tied my son to a chair to get him to do his homework, although the thought has crossed my mind.
Enter the learning specialist who suggests my son has Executive Function challenges. His executive,
the one responsible for:
- planning/organizing (where are my ducks and what order do I put them in?),
- initiating (I don’t know where to start!),
- inhibition (why not throw that rock just for fun?),
- flexibility (but that wasn’t the plan!),
- emotional control (why shouldn’t I fill your shampoo bottle with water if I’m angry?),
- working memory (what do I need to do again?),
- organization of materials (where did I put that?), and
- self-monitoring (how am I doing on this project?) is
—in many of these areas.
Now, my son is a smart kid. He can read faster than I, whiz through math problems, and build working gadgets that could live in Wallace and Gromit’s world. But if you ask him to write about what he’s read, write a story, or explain step by step how he got the right math answer, his executive hangs it up:
If you recognize any of these weaknesses in yourself or your kids, I recommend two books: Late, Lost, and Unprepared: A Parents’ Guide to Helping Children with Executive Functioning and Boosting Executive Skills in the Classroom: A Practical Guide for Educators. Even my executive is showing up for work more often now that I’ve read them.
But back to my son and his angst. First, he “forgot” the assignment was due until my executive had a 5-year strategic planning meeting with his executive. Second, once he was seated at the kitchen table, he moaned that this was toooooo hardddddddd, and that he had no idea how to start.
So, I told him to write down the five W’s and the one H and then put an idea next to each one. He did this over the course of a few minutes without too much daydreaming and gnawing of pencils.
Then he started groaning about where to start. So I practiced my deep breathing exercises at the stove before saying, “I’ve read lots of news articles and they usually go something like this: On [a specific date], [so and so] did [something] to [something], causing this [other thing] to happen.
Suddenly, his face lit up. He picked up his pencil and didn’t stop writing until a little over a half an hour later. Here is his story:
On the day before school break, December twenty-first, Skizzor High School was flooded by a group of juvenile delinquents. Fifteen out of sixteen have been caught. One has evaded capture and has escaped school over the fence. No one knows his whereabouts but we the S.F.P.D. are offering a five hundred dollar reward. According to his accomplices a man whose identity is not known paid them to ruin and flood the high school by cutting the sprinkler system pipes. “Such behavior is not tolerated” says Principal and Founder Natasha Skizzor. “And they will be expelled immediately.”
Woohooo! When I asked him where he got the name “Skizzor,” he pointed at the scissors lying on the table and said that he changed the spelling to be funny. Can I just say “woohooo!!!” again?
Now, I have to tell you that the books say kids with executive function challenges are not consistent, so tomorrow, he may take hours to write something that is nowhere near as wonderful as this. But for today, my executive is giving my son’s executive a bonus, lots of warm fuzzies,
no strings attached. But I’m thinking that there may be some Lego building or whoopee cushion action involved.
P.S. Today, we got all the way home from school only to “discover” that the writing assignment due on Friday (that we’ve been “trying” to get home since Monday) was left at school. We turned around and went back for it. The only thing consistent about my son is his inconsistency. I am murmuring my new mantra–at least he’s consistently inconsistent.
29 thoughts on “Writing, Executive Function, and Deep Breathing”
This is hilarious and so true! You’re lovebug is lucky to have you for a mama. Now, what were those books again? 🙂
I’ll let you know when I remember. 😮
Well, he certainly produced the goods with that one. Well done!
It’s difficult to see our children struggle in certain areas–both my boys had their weaknesses, but I always tell them the brain is a muscle, and all that effort and thinking just make it stronger. Luckily, they no longer need help with their homework. I don’t think I have the energy (nor the retention anymore) to handle calculus. 🙂
Oh, the struggle. Who knew it would be like this when we signed on to parenthood? I am looking forward to the day when I don’t have to supervise the homework. Although, I did enjoy calculus.
So did I. It was one of my favorite subjects. Too bad I’ve forgotten it all now. But at least I can help my son out with statistics when he takes it next year. 🙂
And you’ll start the tutoring by saying you can use statistics to prove anything, right? He’ll love it! 😀
That’s great! I remember those days of hoping the school would be flooded. 🙂
Something tells me you were a little prankster in school….
I don’t know much about the Executive thing. What I do know is that your boy is a born newspaperman. Consider me dazzled.
So those are the stars I see shining in the East! I will pass on your praise to the young man. Thank you!
I had to chortle a bit (thinking of you) when the book mentioned that OCD can often be linked to weak impulse control within the Executive Brain. I recall some rumblings of you saying that you are a bit “OCD.” And then I recall your story about your wife locking you out of the house. So naturally, I’m thinking your executive lunch-taking got you in a wee bit of trouble? Am I writing fiction here? 😮
You don’t hafta be OCD to drive your spouse bonkers, you know!
It does help, however.
Too true. There are many other options available in the spouse-crazymaking bag of tricks I store under the couch.
Haha! Great story! I wonder if your son identifies with the boy who escaped over the fence…there were days when being expelled was my ambition!
The thought had crossed my mind. He seems to think that the teachers don’t have his best interests at heart. Of course, HIS best interests don’t have anything to do with school. 😮
I love your son’s story, skizzors – great! Your prompting was so wonderful, just enough to get him going, but not stifle his creativity and fun – ideal!
Thanks! It’s such a fine line between too little and too much. I felt that we were both successful in that moment. Too often, we are both unsuccessful, and that can be discouraging.
Great story! Thanks for the book recommendations. My daughter’s 26, just back in college, and could probably benefit from the point of view of executive skills! xoM
It’s never too late to learn some new organizational tricks! There may be some books out there that target adults in particular, but these two books do offer insight and suggestions that would help anyone with executive function challenges. I hope she’s doing well.
She is doing well, thank you. I’ve never heard the term “executive function” before and I’m intrigued.
Google the term, and you’ll find out all kinds of interesting things about the “executive brain.”
I’m not sure which is more fun: reading your son’s writing or reading you writing about his writing. You are both talented and hilarious.
Thanks, Laurel! One of these days, it will get easier. 😮
How exactly do you think it will get easier? Now you are just deluding yourself. Think: teenager. 🙂
Please don’t interrupt my delusion.
Far be it from me!
I have never heard of executive function challenges, so I have just learned something new! I have to wonder about my 8-year-old son, but I’m not sure he fully fits the profile. I’ll definitely look into it more.
I like how you prompted him. Sometimes we just have to hit the timing right and they soar. Other times, no matter how patient and clear we are, it doesn’t matter. They simply won’t turn that corner.
Skizzor is too awesome.
You are so right. We’ve been stuck at corners for many an evening’s homework session.
There are lots of permutations and combinations of what amounts to exec function challenges. Some kids struggle with working memory. Others struggle with impulse control. There’s a great video out there on current research. Check it out:
Reading this post helps me with *my* executive-function functions! Thanks for writing this, and I’m looking forward to getting caught up on reading your blog! (Ever since WordPress moved everything from email notifications to the Reader, I’ve been falling behind.)
Yes, I know what you mean, both for Exec Func and the reader. I’ve found that I have to go in an manually change notifications, and then it seems to override them, anyway. But it could be my “user error.” 😀 Hope you have a great TG with friends and family.