Domestic Tranquility

11 Jan

Marriage Day

You said you’d:

  • Like to know my name.
  • Like to see more of me, all of me.
  • Love me forever.
  • Stop hitting me if I stopped eyeing other men.
  • Like to have kids.
  • Need time to think—or did you say drink? with your buddies.
  • Like me to wear something new.
  • Be sweet if I wasn’t always yelling at you or the kids.
  • Like to take time off—from work and our marriage.
  • Found somebody who reminded you of me.
  • Love me forever, if

I’d just put down the—

Response to the 100-Word Challenge for Grown-ups

14 Responses to “Domestic Tranquility”

  1. Miriam January 12, 2013 at 12:30 am #

    Lovely piece. (Although it doesn’t contain the prompt.)

    • Jilanne Hoffmann January 12, 2013 at 8:43 am #

      Yes, I realized that after I wrote and posted it. I was in a rush and thought that the prompt was “you said you’d____”

      So it’s disqualified. :o)

  2. Neeks January 12, 2013 at 6:27 am #

    Stop hitting me if I stopped eyeing other men?

    • Jilanne Hoffmann January 12, 2013 at 8:46 am #

      Did that surprise you?

      • Neeks January 12, 2013 at 11:52 am #

        I guess it did, sorry. I hope that isn’t part of your daily life!

        • Jilanne Hoffmann January 12, 2013 at 4:33 pm #

          No, far from it. I am a writer, so I write about lots of things that are not a part of my life.

  3. jfb57 January 12, 2013 at 6:43 am #

    A very different piece but my goodness what strength in it! It speaks thousands of words. There are not rule really on format. It is down to your muse. Thank you fro joining!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann January 12, 2013 at 8:45 am #

      It was fun and great test to see how quickly I could pull something together–between the end of work and making supper. Sometimes the writing goes quickly, and sometimes…

  4. limebirdwriters January 14, 2013 at 1:53 am #

    Wow, powerful!

  5. heylookawriterfellow January 14, 2013 at 1:08 pm #

    Oh, please let that last word be “gun.” Or “knife.” Or “frozen leg of lamb.”

    Make him pay!

    • Jilanne Hoffmann January 14, 2013 at 2:26 pm #

      HHHmmmm, I like your third option. But what about the word “pen”? I guess only a writer would consider that an option. :o)

      But I’m thinking we’ll never know since he never got a chance to finish his sentence…poor guy–NOT! as the kids used to say.

  6. this_chestless_man April 11, 2013 at 9:16 am #

    This was incredible. Amazing take, particularly formally, on this piece.

    • Jilanne Hoffmann April 11, 2013 at 9:37 am #

      Thank you. I enjoy playing Julia’s game when the spirit moves. This one nearly wrote itself once I found the right form.

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