Dear “A”

            response to Derrida

 

While constructing and deconstructing, I arrived at one last letter, a mark upon the page. 

An ‘A:’  Authority.     Your job:   to say  IT  is and isn’t, confusing my suspicions. 

Another ‘A:’  Arbitrator.     IT, me, and in the middle, you.

 

Tonight, I pin this scarlet letter upon your chest.  ‘A:’  abscess   adulterer   arsenic   asshole   asp

ashpit   albatross      annoying anathema      answerless antagonist      assassin     ack-ack     ache.

 

But wait, there’s more:   annihilator    armless aborter     anemic android      anchorless alligator       

arrogant arachnid       absolute Adam      abject abnegator      abdicator          ablator of my heart.  

 

Go ahead.  Pull the crimson thread. 

Unravel the construction and expose my cracked and crumbling, bleeding base, to All. 

I cannot bear         the thought of sharing ink with you.

 

But as I work to see just   what   IT   is, I tat a net of veils    with this pen.  Layers of lairs of liars between me and the Abyss. 

 

The final ‘A.’ 

 

by Jilanne Hoffmann 

April 28, 2012