In “Craftsmanship,” Woolf insists that “words never make anything useful” and “tell nothing but the truth,” contradicting both meanings of “craft” in the dictionary. She says that words “hate being useful, that it is their nature not to express one simple statement but a thousand possibilities…”

Further into the essay, she says that “a useful statement is a statement that can mean only one thing. And it is the nature of words to mean many things.” Hence, words combined into statements cannot be useful. Writing is not useful.

Should I just end my life now?

Well! Now that I am a bit bloodied, Woolf turns her attention to the teaching of writing: “Think what it would mean if you could teach, if you could learn, the art of writing. Why, every book, every newspaper would tell the truth, would create beauty. But there is, it would appear, some obstacle in the way…For though at this moment at least a hundred professors are lecturing upon the literature of the past, at least a thousand critics are reviewing literature of the present, and hundreds upon hundreds of young men and women are passing examinations in literature with the utmost credit, still—do we write better, do we read better than we read and wrote four hundred years ago…”

And so she places the blame not on writers, but on words. The dagger seeks its victim elsewhere! I am relieved that my many failures are not my fault.

“Of course, you can catch them and sort them and place them in alphabetical order in dictionaries. But words do not live in dictionaries; they live in the mind. If you want proof of this, consider how often in moments of emotion when we most need words we find none…”

I have lived several decades of this proof.

“All we can say about them, as we peer at them over the edge of that deep, dark and only fitfully illuminated cavern in which they live–the mind–all we can say about them is that they seem to like people to think and to feel before they use them, but to think and to feel not about them, but about something different. They are highly sensitive, easily made self-conscious.”

How I continue to struggle with this, looking for a particular word or phrase. But that only sends the words I am looking for deeper into the morose and morbid shrubbery.

She is telling me to focus on the “thing” itself, to feel, and the words will order themselves on the page. Oh yes, what genius!

But if I start to think that Woolf sat in her room of one’s own, in a trance, placing word after word in correct order upon the page, I should think again. According to her husband, she revised and retyped even her shortest pieces extensively. Her genius kindled to flame through legion revisions.

Once I digest this, Woolf’s stream of consciousness runs off in another direction, saying: ”Perhaps that is their [words] most striking peculiarity–their need of change. It is because the truth they try to catch is many-sided, and they convey it by being themselves many-sided, flashing this way, then that. Thus they mean one thing to one person, and another thing to another person…Perhaps then one reason why we have no great poet, novelist or critic writing today is that we refuse words their liberty.”

I would argue that she’s being a little hard on the writers of her generation, including herself.

She continues: “We pin them [words] down to one meaning, their useful meaning, the meaning which makes us catch the train, the meaning which makes us pass the examination. And when words are pinned down they fold their wings and die.”

I breathe and pause to let this image sit for a moment. How often have I felt this way?

The essay continues, giving additional insight into her writing process: she says it’s critical to include a pause while writing, a caesura, where we “become unconscious. Our unconscious is their [words] privacy; our darkness is their light…That pause was made, that veil of darkness was dropped, to tempt words to come together in one of those swift marriages which are perfect images and create everlasting beauty.”

Am I taking the time to pause, to create a shadowy zeitgeist of words?

For some writers, this pause may mean meditation, for others a walk or dreamtime. We must impede our forward progress for a moment or a month–to internalize the essence of what it is we’re trying to communicate. And must do so unconsciously.

I am thinking that Woolf is correct, writing cannot be taught through words, yet another disconnect or degree of separation.

Perhaps it can only be intuited, through physical practice, through time, the gloss** and erasure of words upon the page.

I highly recommend reading “Craftsmanship.” You can find and listen to a partial recording (Woolf’s voice from the BBC) of it at: http://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/w/woolf/virginia/w91d/chapter24.html

Among other highlights, she also presents a humorous account of how “signs” are replacing words, using examples from the Michelin guide and others—forerunners of Amazon and GoodReads stars. She discusses how words have strange and diabolical power, how “royal” words “mate with commoners,” how they range and go “a-roving, a-roving fair maid.” This woman, so often debilitated by depression, had a wicked funny bone.

Leonard Woolf was correct in thinking these essays were “worth publishing.” Look for “The Death of the Moth and Other Essays” at your library or have your bookstore order it for you. And yes, if you must, buy it on Amazon.

**discover the varied meanings of “gloss” in your dictionary and apply them to the sentence

Still Life With Children

Here are the facts:

A few weeks ago, I visited my niece and her husband, a physician’s assistant and a lawyer, parents of two children under the age of four. They are also triathletes who will be competing in the Ironman 70.3 Vineman in Sonoma, California this July.

While looking for glasses in their kitchen, I happened upon this striking still life–a perfect Mother’s Day (and Father’s Day) photo. Crayons, pacifiers, flasks, Kahlua, bourbon, glasses, a crayon drawing, martini shaker, and some sort of sample medication in a tube. 

 Now what’s the story?? Any ideas?

YES!!!

I will be attending the Squaw Valley Writers Workshop in Fiction

Anybody else out there going, too???

Conference History

The Community of Writers was established in 1969 by novelists Blair Fuller and Oakley Hall, who were both residents of the valley. It was originally staffed by a band of San Francisco writers including David Perlman, Walter Ballenger, Barnaby Conrad and John Leggett, the latter two of whom went on to found, respectively, the Santa Barbara Writers Conference and the Napa Writers Conference. The Community of Writers continues to be directed by Brett Jones.

Over the years the community has mounted workshops in Fiction, Nonfiction, Screenwriting, Playwriting, Poetry, and Nature Writing (the Art of the Wild Program, which was co-produced by the University of California at Davis), and Writing the Medical Experience. Lisa Alvarez and Louis B. Jones now co-direct the Fiction Program and Michael Carlisle directs the nonfiction Program of the Writers Workshop, which were for twenty years directed by Carolyn Doty. Literary agent Michael Carlisle directs the Nonfiction Program. Galway Kinnell directed the Poetry Program for 17 years and Robert Hass has directed it since 2004. Diana Fuller directs the Screenwriters Workshop, which was founded by screenwriters Tom Rickman and Gill Dennis.

The Community publishes the Omnium Gatherum & Newsletter,chronicling the publishing and other successes of its participants and staff.

Munch, munch, munch out of my budget…

Five minutes later, I panicked and canceled the order.

This, after spending at least a week reading CNet reviews, Google and Amazon reviews, and Apple and Microsoft forums. Apple people and PC people cannot share the same electron cubicle or they’ll sling mud at each other all day. However, it is fascinating how many crossovers from MS now sing the virtues of Apple with nary an epiphany going the other way.

But there’s also the complication of having to decide between Google Docs, Word, and Scrivener applications. I’ve used Word since I was born–well, at least since WordPerfect died. My business-y husband loves Google Docs and “the Cloud.” Writers apparently love Scrivener, either the Windows or Mac versions (although the Windows version hasn’t caught up to the Mac capabilities, yet). And even Mac people will tell you that Word for Mac is a shadow of the “robust” (always brings on visions of Great Aunt Edith and the crumbs on her, ah, shelf) Windows edition.

So right after I hit “purchase,” Evil Doubt grasped the nape of my neck, jerked me off my physioball chair, and rattled my bones around the office, demanding “What if Mac’s Scrivener is just a raging toothache when you want to share files with your clients, editors, and other writers who use Word? And the alternative, MSOffice for Mac? What if it truly is the kiss of death?”…Fully off my ball (rocker), I fell to my knees in horror and reached for my keyboard to cancel.

What had I almost done? Had I almost blown up the bridge between me and all the Word people I know? Had I almost handed over my soul to Satan because I love the feel of the Air’s touchpad? Oh how silky smooth and effortless to swipe! In comparison, the Lenovo, the Samsung, the Asus laptop touchpads I had tried felt like a long drag through the La Brea Tar Pit.

Plus, ya gotta love that sleek Air-brushed-aluminum wedge!

And then the Best Buy Microsoft Rep leapt from the shadows and recommended the new Surface Pro (everything but the gorgeous HD pixelated screen looks clunky), running Windows 8 (yet a new look and format!!!%#@!); a tablet PC sporting an awesome stylus for drawing and writing copious notes (marginalia, yes!!!) on the touch screen, which you can then turn immediately into type!! Oh, have mercy on me Satan!!!

But the Windows 8 features this new “tile” system that blocks all plug-ins, so you have to use the desktop view if you want plug-ins and tabs that resemble anything I’m used to seeing. And then I stumped the rep when I asked if I could see 20 “tiles” when I have that many windows open. After fiddling for a moment, he concluded: you can only do that in desktop mode. And it doesn’t have as much RAM or disk space as the Air, although it is cheaper…. Hmmmmmm….

But if I buy any PC laptop, I would be stuck with Windows 8! So does that mean I should buy a Mac?

There’s a reason I haven’t worked for IBM since the dark ages.

I’m a writer folks, I just want to use these tools to do my work. I want to focus on the WORDS, and occasionally incorporate some photos, graphics, and videos.

WORDS WORDS WORDS —- Can anyone hand me a torch that will show me the way out of these infinite circles of hell?

MAVEN will explore the planet’s upper atmosphere, ionosphere and interactions with the sun and solar wind.

MAVEN is scheduled to  launch from Cape Canaveral, Fl.,  Nov. 18 on an Atlas V launch vehicle.  It will arrive at Mars in fall 2014.  After a five-week transition period during which it will get into its final orbit, deploy booms, and check out the science instruments, MAVEN will carry out its one-Earth-year primary mission.  MAVEN will have enough fuel to survive for another six years and will act as a data relay for spacecraft on the surface, as well as continue to take important science data.

The three winners’ poems will be sent to Mars in the MAVEN explorer craft.  Check out the Going to Mars with MAVEN Website for rules and deadlines.

Although I’m not a poet, I couldn’t resist the temptation to play. My entry?

Happy Haiku-ing! Let me know if you enter.

light dances on fields

of belligerent sleep, chasing

crows and hard scarecrows

No matter how many times I read the poem, I see the word “sheep” instead of “sleep,” especially if I’m reading it quickly. At least two others made similar comments about the poem on Gravity’s blog.

So why are we misreading it?

I think I have an explanation. Recently, Livia Blackburne (a neuroscience grad student at  MIT whose first YA novel, Midnight Thief, will be published in 2014 by Disney-Hyperion), wrote an essay about the brain and word selection for a Website for business writers: Emphasis Business Writing Trainers. But the topic applies to everyone.  

Livia explained how the brain creates and uses mental models (or schemas) to “see” things that aren’t really there, because it recognizes patterns, builds on previous knowledge, and makes generalizations that help us respond quickly to situations we’ve encountered repeatedly. It’s when our brain becomes too efficient that it makes mistakes.

When I read this haiku and detected my error, I immediately thought of Livia’s essay. So let’s do a little analysis:

• The word “fields” takes us to the farm, the pasture. We have a schema for “fields” that includes animals, often sheep.

• Then the adjective “belligerent” immediately precedes the word “sleep.” Our schema tells us that only living things (like sheep) are  belligerent, not something like “sleep.” As a farmer’s daughter, I can attest to how belligerent some sheep, especially the bucks, can be. One once butted my father over a water tank, nearly breaking his leg. 

• So we have been prepared to read the word “sheep” instead of “sleep” by the time we reach the trailing comma and the word “chasing.” We have a schema for animals such as sheep. They have feet, and they can chase. “Sleep” has no feet, so it cannot. And by the time I reach the word “chasing,” I am not thinking about the light, but the movement of animals in the field.

• Then we have the other animals in the field, the crows, and the inanimate scarecrows. We are certain we read the word “sheep,” right?

• And if that’s not enough to lead us astray (sorry, couldn’t resist), we also have the age old underlying schema of counting “sheep” to go to “sleep.”

It is a brilliant “trick,” and I love how hard it is for me to see the correct word.

Poets shake us out of our ragged, well-worn schemas and slip us into new chemises, for a moment or forever.

Fiction writers make artful use of metaphor to shake us up as well. Similarly, characters that “go against type” challenge us to question racial, class, or cultural schemas.

Great joke writers make use of schemas to lead us down a path and then lie in ambush with the punch line.

And I must bow at the feet of translators. Think of the effort, art, and insight it takes to bridge not only literal language differences but also language and cultural schemas when translating prose and poetry. The task is formidable.

So take a look at Livia’s short essay and read about people who swear they’ve seen something they haven’t, and remind yourself just how much “baggage” comes with the words we write.

Every piece of learned knowledge and experience is processed by the brain at astounding speed, efficiently (if not always correctly) coloring all of our future experiences–and reading.

Look out for sleep along the way.

Dusting the old folks…

It never pays to ID household shortcomings, because it is now noon. My bookshelves are dust-free, the carpets swept, and the HEPA air purifier filters changed. I also fired up the shop vac to suck a layer off the book tops, considering the growth at eye level was visible from five paces. 

My questions  to you? 

Guess I’ll be working late tonight after my son goes to bed…

he didn’t know what he was getting himself into—or maybe he did. 

My son thanked Mike for the stamp by creating a new stamp, “Celebrate Falling!”

and a comic book (see post “Alien Invasion – A Graphic Novel” and sending them as gifts.

So I was surprised when he received a new stamp from Mike in the mail last week:

Credit: Mike Allegra

and a lovely note, encouraging him to keep drawing and creating. So now young Master Hoffmann is sending a thank-you note with the following stamps to add to Mike’s “collection”:

Celebrate Brick Walls!! credit: Young Master Hoffmann

Celebrate Stunt Guys!! credit: Young Master Hoffmann

Celebrate Cash!! credit: Young Master Hoffmann

This last one is a “twofer,” celebrating stamps and cash (although this particular combo hasn’t worked for the always bankrupt postal service).

I don’t think my son believes that being an illustrator is a quick way to earn cash, but he plans to “make millions” by selling everything from lemonade to cookies to comic books at a stand he’s setting up with friends in a local park. We’ll see how that shakes out.

Instead, I think his “cashing out” dreams are right in line with the other tongue-in-cheek stamps he’s created to celebrate falling, diving into concrete swimming pools or crashing into brick walls. Any artist can identify with all of those calamities. There’s a certain Three Stooges meets Wile E. Coyote & Road Runner sensibility at work. 

So I would like to take this time to honor and celebrate all the great illustrators we know and love, including HeyLookAWriterFellow (who WILL one day–in the not to distant future, right Mike??– give the world a book filled with his fabulous illustrations).

Here are a handful of a few favorite illustrators:

Judy Schachner (author/illustrator) Skippyjon Jones series

David Macaulay (illustrator)  The (New) Way Things Work (author – Neil Ardley), architecture, etc. (one of my son’s favorites)

Nina Laden – (author/illustrator) The Night I Followed the Dog

Graeme Base – (author/illustrator) Uno’s Garden

David Gardner (illustrator) Sarah Gives Thanks (Mike Allegra -author) 

For those wanting to delve deeper into the pool of illustrators, spend a few hours at these Web sites:

Caldecott Winners List

Illustrators Online

SCBWI Illustrator’s Gallery

Happy Viewing!! 

And when you’re done with that, 101BOOKS just posted a phenomenal video-illustration of The Old Man and the Sea.

Oh, and Mike, please don’t feel pressured to continue the “Stamps Arms Race.” )

Clearly, she has never seen my office, brushed aside the cobwebs, or moved the piles of mail and newspapers off my dining room table so that food can be eaten.

When I think of “lovely,” I think of all things clean, orderly, and quietly beautiful. I think of a sense of calm and perhaps a bit of the sublime.

sublime [səˈblaɪm]

So perhaps, my blog is this fantastic mask,

Who is the real me?

a face presented to the world that is not completely accurate or truthful. Or perhaps it’s a different kind of truth. I posed this question once long ago: Warp and Woof

Or maybe I’m reading too much into this word, lovely, which is something I often do because I’m avoiding other work that is more pressing and likely to give me heartburn.

But Kate’s award is a blessing that comes with no rules–and no GI distress. I’m freeeeee! And freedom tastes of reality!

—or does it?

This freedom feels like a freewriting exercise, morning pages. Who knows what will fall from the sky? Sometimes nothing, not even a cloud. But at least I’ll be here writing when something does happen. Like when that Lovely Blog award showed up in pink on my blogstep–and put a smile on my face.

Thanks, Kate!

I’d like to send my own little package of goodness to these folks who are busily blogging into the fresh hours, not knowing when the universe will send something their way, be it dark matter or a pink package filled with appreciation. Three are new to my list of favorites, but I have mentioned the other two before. No matter. It just means I’m still enjoying them. And like I said, no rules rules!!! 

Fictionfan (book reviews)

CafeCasey (essays)

Alarmingman (haiku)

Shrinksarentcheap (poetry)

Mypenandme (poetry)